Author Archives: slickboy

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Commentary:
When my coffee takes longer than me to get ready, I know it's time to start a protest against morning manipulation! ☕⏰😆

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Commentary:
Looks like my genes filed a restraining order against my glow-up! 💥🧬😅

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Commentary:
Just remember: an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute! Choose wisely! 😂✈️🪂

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Commentary:
When you upgrade your couch to a luxury suite with just one forgotten date! 🛋️➡️🛏️😅

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just remember they're probably going to explode now. 🍋💥😅

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Commentary:
Those pups are probably living their best life now, recounting handbags like they're war stories! 👜🐕🤣

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Commentary:
Who knew speakerphones had "unlimited audience" mode? 📢🙉😂

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Commentary:
Well, if my morning coffee spills, is it divine intervention telling me to clean up my act? 🤔☕️🧹

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Commentary:
When your energy drink unlocks DLC colors for your vision! 🥤🌈👀

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Commentary:
When your taste buds have higher standards than your life choices 🤔🍽️😆