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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Spotted on Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Just landed via Threads:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Live now on Telegram:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Trending via Telegram:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Going viral on Discord:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Making art is making love to the world.

Trending via Instagram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

2 months ago

0

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a classic case of "failed synchronization syndrome" 😴⏰ Dozing off at the wrong time, partying all night with the Sandman, and hitting snooze like it's your new best friend… it's a sleep-deprived battle royale! Time to set up a truce between your morning self and your bedtime self, or else your pillow might just stage a rebellion! ⏳💤

bad, being, boil, going, going to sleep, habits, humor, issues, lifestyle, lot, me, morning, morning struggle, night, night struggle, problems, procrastination, sleep, sleep habits, sleep issues, struggle, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

0

2 months ago

born, development, humor, memory, people, photographic, question, take, time
I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

0

2 months ago

chair, clearer, clearer picture, days, good, good ol’ days, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, ol’, picture, remember, smack, technology, things, TV
I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

0

2 months ago

bed, body, frustration, humor, just, just kidding, kidding, moment, sleep, sleepy, tired
Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

0

2 months ago

always, anger, being, buy, daily, daily struggle, eat, hard, humor, lose, loss, relatable, shopping, slap, someone, something, struggle, sweet, sweets, want, weight, weight loss, woman
I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

0

2 months ago

ass, compliment, day, hope, humor, i, nice, positivity
Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

0

2 months ago

appearance, done, good, good heart, having, heart, irony, kindness, me, nothing, self-reflection, stupid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on X this month:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Spotted on Reddit:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Making waves on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Making waves on X:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Freshly posted on X:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

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