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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

431 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,700

Funny Quotes Topics

17,718

Funny Quotes Images

15,700

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Spotted on Messenger:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Spotted on Telegram:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Trending via WeChat:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Just landed via WeChat:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
Awkward silence: shattered. A hero among crickets! 🦗🎤😅

awkward, awkward silence, breaker, Funny, humor, icebreaker, silence, skills, social, social skills, want, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

2 months ago

age, awareness, humor, matrix, old, others, perception, realization
Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

3 months ago

attitude, change, due, evil, humor, personal, personal reason, personality, personality change, reason, reasons
Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

2 months ago

always, city, humor, irony, never, NYC, pee, smell, world
You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

2 months ago

DM, funny situation, music, outdoor, outside, romance, situation, speaker, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, window
If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

6 months ago

delay, humor, ID, joke, laziness, pill, procrastination, take, tomorrow
I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

2 months ago

call, clever, clever wordplay, Delaware, delusional, humor, i, identity, self-aware, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

68 shares on TikTok this month:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

49 shares on Slack this month:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Just landed via Messenger:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨