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After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

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Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

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It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

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Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

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December. A desperate celebration of an end.

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If I ever get the death penalty, I hope โ€œby chocolateโ€ is an option.

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Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

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Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

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If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

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Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

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Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Commentary:
"Adulting is like a twisted game of Monopoly – except instead of collecting $100, you're suddenly drowning in $1000 debt ๐ŸŽฒ๐Ÿ’ธ #TheRealBoardGameOfLife"



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