Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Just landed via Discord:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Trending via Snapchat:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Making waves on X:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Trending via YouTube:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Spotted on Reddit:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

1 month ago

Humorous quote comparing betrayal to herpes, highlighting the irony of close relationships.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Betrayal is like herpes – it's the gift that keeps on giving, whether you want it or not… 🤣💔"

betrayal, close, friendship, herpes, humor, irony, just, relationship, someone, trust

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Threads this month:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

20 shares on X this month:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

86 shares on Facebook this month:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

61 shares on X this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

100 shares on Slack this month:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Just shared via Slack:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Making waves on Reddit:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Trending via Instagram:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Spreading quickly via X:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Going viral on Messenger:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Trending via Facebook:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨