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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Spotted on Messenger:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Spotted on Discord:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Seen just now on X:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Just shared via Pinterest:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Spotted on YouTube:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Freshly posted on Threads:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.
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Commentary:
"Who knew those fluttery little jerks have a dark side? 🦋😈 #ButterflyMafia"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Just shared via WeChat:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Going viral on Instagram:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

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