Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Shared recently on Threads:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Just shared via Threads:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

18 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about choosing marriage amidst modern dating chaos, humorous and playful tone.

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Commentary:
Trying to find a soulmate in the world of situationships feels like shopping for a wedding dress at a yard sale! 😂👗💍

cheater, culture, dating, filled, hook-up, hook-up culture, marry, modern, modern dating, relationship, situationship, world

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64 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

44 shares on Threads this month:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

51 shares on YouTube this month:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Making waves on Twitch:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Just landed via YouTube:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Going viral on TikTok:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Live now on Discord:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Just shared via WeChat:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Going viral on Telegram:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Just landed via Reddit:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Just landed via X:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

My favorite hobby is withering away.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨