Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Breaking via X:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Seen just now on Discord:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Live now on Messenger:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Just shared via WeChat:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

0
Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs office drama when you can be the untouchable hotshot turning heads and filing reports like a boss 💁‍♂️🔥 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone spills coffee on the copier! ☕️😂 #workplacepowerplay"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

19 shares on Discord this month:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

30 shares on X this month:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

91 shares on Discord this month:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

15 shares on TikTok this month:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,290

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Just shared via Instagram:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Going viral on Facebook:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Shared recently on Messenger:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Shared recently on Messenger:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Just shared via Reddit:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Spotted on Threads:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴