Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”