Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Just shared via Discord:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Going viral on Messenger:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Live now on Twitch:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Going bananas on Instagram:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Just landed via Messenger:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Seen just now on Discord:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Live now on Facebook:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Fries, not lies.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks: Fries 🍟 are always a better option than lies! Stay crispy, stay truthful! 🤥🚫😋"

comedy, food, food preference, fry, honesty, humor, ly, preference

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

0

2 months ago

country, country music, crying, emotional, emotional expression, expression, genre, help, humor, little, men, music, music genre, need, sadness
Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

0

2 months ago

authority, children, dominance, humor, over, parenting, whining
Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

0

2 months ago

alone, annoying, anxiety, around, avoidance, being, comfort, home, house, humor, introvert, leave, never, people, privacy, public, remember, social, social anxiety, solitude, worry
Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

0

2 months ago

activity, baby, being, candy, Candy Crush, childhood, crush, excitement, exciting, fun, fun activity, gaming, going, imagine, iPad, months, playing, technology, womb
I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

0

2 months ago

butter, confused, dairy, food, humor, preference, troubled
The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

0

6 months ago

dating, enough, finding, hard, health, humor, illness, life, mental, mental health, mental illness, mentally, relationship, ruin, someone, understand, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

11 shares on Twitch this month:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I have a yearning disability.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Just shared via Threads:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Trending via TikTok:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Spotted on Telegram:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Making waves on YouTube:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Making waves on TikTok:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fries, not lies.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨