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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2155 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,317

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,317

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Making waves on X:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Breaking via TikTok:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Seen just now on Instagram:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Going viral on X:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Home » Funny Absent Quotes

Funny absent quotes

Funny absent quotes bring a splash of humor to those moments when you’re MIA 😎⏰ Whether it’s skipping work, school, or just disappearing from the group chat, these witty lines keep things light and entertaining 😂✨ Ready to turn your “gone missing” status into a laugh fest? Let’s dive into some cheeky vibes that make being absent way more fun! 🚀🎉

New funny absent quotes 👇

For even more funny absent quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny absent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2155 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,317

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,317

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Seen just now on Telegram:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Reported on Threads:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Trending via Messenger:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Live now on Messenger:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Going viral on Twitch:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Trending via Threads:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Reported on Slack:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

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