Commentary:
"When 'fitted' shirts feel like a hug from a boa constrictor.😂👕🐍"
179 Funny actually quotes
I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.
Commentary:
"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow… or next week… or, eh, maybe never? 😅⏳ #ProLevelProcrastination"
What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?
Commentary:
"Plot twist: Medusa's just an overzealous art curator! 🗿🔍🙈"
Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.
Commentary:
"Riding high on a donkey, but still trying to look majestic! 🐴✨😂"
They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.
Commentary:
"Is there an app for instant approvals yet? Asking for a friend… and their resume. 🤔🧑💻📄"
There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.
Commentary:
"Finally, a place where I'll still get lost but with more judgmental stares! 🛒🙃 #CartConfused"
I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.
Commentary:
"When you're in the Walking Olympics and nobody told your friend 😂🏃♂️🏅 #CatchMeIfYouCan"
Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.
Commentary:
Looks like these robots decided to upgrade their breakfast menu—no more boring cereal, just a crunchy combo of nuts and bolts! 🥣🤖🔩 Who knew breakfast could be so *metal*-icious? Guess even robots want their mechanical munchies! 😂⚙️
Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.
Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive pursuit of happiness! Turns out, it might just be a shopping spree away 🛍️💸 Just remember, if money can't buy happiness, at least it can buy ice cream… and that's pretty close! 🍦😄 #RetailTherapyGoals"
“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.
Commentary:
"Cutting people off like a pro! 🙅♀️ Who needs toxic energy when you've got self-respect on speed dial? 💁♀️ Snip snip, bye negativity! ✂️ #SelfRespectGoals"