Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,919

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Making waves on YouTube:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Half princess, half menace.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Just landed via Discord:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Home » Funny Adults Quotes » Page 3

21 Funny adults quotes

More funny adults quotes 👇

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

0

5 months ago

adult, adults, child, freak, got, humor, i, kind, kindness, little, old, old soul, sad, sadness, saying, self-deprecation, soul, think

For even more funny adults quotes, hit next 👇

All funny adults quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Instagram this month:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Weddings should have a worst man.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

64 shares on Discord this month:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Just shared via TikTok:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Shared recently on Slack:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Just shared via TikTok:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Just shared via Reddit:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

21 Funny adults quotes

More funny adults quotes 👇

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

All funny adults quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨