Commentary:
"Who ya gonna call? 🚫👻 Imagine the Yelp reviews on that: 'Great location, spacious rooms, but the ghost in the attic is a bit too chatty for my liking.' 😂🏠 #HauntedHouseHunting"
277 Funny before quotes
Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.
Commentary:
"Ah, the power of imagination at its finest! Dreaming of dreams within dreams – the ultimate inception of bedtime goals. 💭💤 #Sleepception"
As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.
Commentary:
"Looks like time travel runs in the family! 🕰️✨ Maybe they passed down a secret Time-Turner or a DeLorean is hiding in the garage. 🚗 Who needs a TARDIS when you have a multi-generational time-travel lineage! 🔮👴👦 #TimeTravelGenes"
I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.
Commentary:
"I'm on this new diet where my breakfast conversations are limited to coffee and silence ☕️😂 Who needs chatty food anyway?!"
If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.
Commentary:
Ah, the joys of parenthood! Who needs a mood ring when you have kids? 😂😭😅🥴 Emotions before breakfast – the ultimate wake-up call! #ParentingAdventures
Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.
Commentary:
"Talk about jumping the gun! 🤦♂️ Maybe your calendar predicted the future date? Or you’ve mastered the art of time travel? ⏳ Either way, oopsie! 😅 #TooEager"
I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'knowing better but doing it anyway'! 🤷♂️ Who needs logic when you have determination, right? 💪😅"
I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.
Commentary:
Oh, imagine the confusion at those early Barenaked Ladies concerts! 😄 Bet some attendees were expecting something very different… like maybe a burlesque show or a nudist colony talent showcase! 🎤🎶 #MisleadingBandNames
Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.
Commentary:
Well, it seems like Yoda knew the best order for the Star Wars movies! Maybe he had a sneak peek into the future with the Force. 🌌🎬 May the release date be with you, always!
Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.
Commentary:
"Saving the world, one expired pepper at a time! 🌶️🥦 Maybe we should form a UN (United Nibblers) to prevent future veggie uprisings! 🥒🥕 #FridgeWars"