Commentary:
Just here for the popcorn and drama 🍿👀 #TwitterLurker
161 Funny best quotes
There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.
Commentary:
Why split a mansion? My five friends and ten dogs already own the deed to my heart! 🏰🐾😂
Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.
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Who needs friends when you have a for you page that knows your deepest, darkest memes? 😂📱
The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.
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Guess I’ll just keep pretending until it's suddenly Friday! 😜📅✨
Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.
Commentary:
Soulmates: 280 characters away from eternal happiness! 😂📱❤️ #TweetYourWayToLove
Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.
Commentary:
I guess we peaked at tamagotchis and dunkaroos, but adulting hit us with taxes and existential dread! 😅📟🍪💸
Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.
Commentary:
All that time and effort, but at least you'll be rich… in tomatoes! 🍅💰😄
Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.
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That moment when your fabulous friend suddenly wants a long-term lease on your personal real estate! 🤔😂🏡
A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're ready to file him under "acquaintance" in the friend directory 😂📂🤝
Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.
Commentary:
Cold justice: now available in frosty and refreshing flavors! ❄️😂