157 funny best quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

May 24, 2026

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

May 24, 2026

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

May 24, 2026

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

May 24, 2026

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

May 24, 2026

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

May 24, 2026

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

May 24, 2026

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

May 24, 2026May 24, 2026

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

May 24, 2026

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

May 24, 2026

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

May 24, 2026

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

May 24, 2026

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

May 24, 2026

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

May 23, 2026

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

May 23, 2026

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

May 23, 2026

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

May 23, 2026

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

May 23, 2026

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

May 23, 2026

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

May 23, 2026

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

May 23, 2026

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

May 23, 2026

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

May 23, 2026

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

May 23, 2026

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

May 23, 2026

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

May 23, 2026

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

May 23, 2026

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

May 23, 2026

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

May 23, 2026

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

May 23, 2026

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

May 23, 2026

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

May 22, 2026

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

May 22, 2026

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

May 22, 2026

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

May 22, 2026

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

May 22, 2026

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

May 22, 2026

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

May 22, 2026

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

May 22, 2026

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

May 22, 2026