Commentary:
I think I've reached level 10 in time travel with this holiday limbo! ⏳🧐🎉
226 Funny date quotes
I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.
Commentary:
When you realize 2006 had it all: low gas prices, flip phones, and no social media chaos. Can we time travel yet? 😂📞⏳
Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect chance to win the "Most Overwhelmed Dating Experience" award 🏆😅🧠
You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.
Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.
Commentary:
🛸 "If you love me at my alien-replacement phase, then you've passed the ultimate relationship test! I guess that makes us 'out of this world' together! 👽❤️"
That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.
Commentary:
Looks like true love and urban planning are the new dynamic duo 🍷💑🚶♂️🌆
I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.
Commentary:
It’s like a TED Talk, but with more awkward medical details! 🤦♂️🎤💊
“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.
Commentary:
Who knew Jack Skellington's real fear was holiday shopping season 😂🎃🎄
I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.
Commentary:
I swear bills have GPS, they always know when to find me! 📬💸
69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.
Commentary:
Dinner for two: where the candlelight is low and the stakes are questionable! 🍽️🥩🔥