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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

225 Funny date quotes

Funny date quotes capture all the awkward, hilarious, and unexpected moments that happen when you’re out with someone special! 😅💘 Whether it’s a dinner disaster, a funny mix-up, or an overly ambitious attempt at romance, these quotes remind us that dating is never quite as smooth as it seems in the movies. Love might be serious, but the laughs are real! 😂🍷🌹

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Posted onMay 28, 2026

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Don’t hate me, date me!

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

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