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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Shared recently on Threads:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Going bananas on Telegram:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Spotted on Telegram:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Trending via Slack:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Trending via Slack:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Trending via Pinterest:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Breaking via Snapchat:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

1 month ago

app, comedy, dating, Hinder, humor, irony, people, relationships, sabotage, self, self sabotage
I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

1 month ago

compatibility, dating, frustration, humor, i, love, nerf, people, relationships, romance, someone, times, understand
Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

1 month ago

choices, cool, dating, Halloween, humor, men, nothing, relationships, spooky
Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

1 month ago

dating, different, end, fashion, having, humor, monogamous, multiple, partner, relationship, single, socks, try, variety
My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

1 month ago

communication, dating, headphones, hear, humor, i, interaction, men, move, relationship, signature, signature move, social, social interaction, tell
I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

1 month ago

dating, humor, joke, pics, pizza, start, unsolicited, women
Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

1 month ago

app, date, dating, dating app, delivery, food, food delivery, good, humor, online, online dating, relationship, Tinder
Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

1 month ago

activity, awkward, cowgirl, date, dating, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl
Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

1 month ago

call, dating, humor, i, me, money, much, poor, self-esteem, ugly, wealth, women
Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

1 month ago

cause, dating, doing, epidemic, humor, interaction, loneliness, male, male loneliness, proud, social, social interaction

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Trending via WeChat:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Going viral on Telegram:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Seen just now on Slack:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Trending via WeChat:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨