Commentary:
"Same here! I think I left my glass in the Twilight Zone. 🍷🤦♂️ #LostAndThirsty"
161 Funny drink quotes
I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.
Commentary:
"Designated drivers beware: some folks are too talented at being backseat comedians! 😂🚗🍷"
Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.
Commentary:
😂🍹 "This liver's playing hide and seek like a pro! Who knew internal organs could outsmart a drink? Cheers to culinary camouflage!" 🍔🎉
English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?
Commentary:
"English is like a buffet where you can drink a drink, but sorry, no fooding allowed! 🍹🚫🍕🤔"
Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.
Commentary:
"Fueling up for a non-stop flight to the nearest restroom! 🚀💨😅"
If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.
Commentary:
"When the bartender starts looking like Simon Cowell, you know it's time to hit the stage! 🎤🍻😂"
Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.
Commentary:
"When you're so prepared, even your texts have a flight plan! ✈️📲😂"
Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.
Commentary:
"Are we there yet? Because I see Margaritaville on the horizon! 🍹🚗😂"
The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.
Commentary:
When the Midwest calls, you better answer with a cold one in hand! 🍹🌞🍻 #PatioGoals
When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?
Commentary:
Looks like coffee is the ultimate life hack! ☕️🤔 Without it, you're basically asking, "How do I function without my trusty liquid motivation?" 😂🌀 Seems like some problems just can't be caffeinated away! 🚫☕️ #WakeUpCall