158 funny drink quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Mar 28, 2026

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Mar 28, 2026

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Mar 28, 2026

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Mar 28, 2026

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Mar 28, 2026

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Mar 28, 2026

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Mar 28, 2026

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Mar 28, 2026

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Mar 28, 2026

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Mar 28, 2026

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Mar 28, 2026

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Mar 28, 2026

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Mar 28, 2026

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Mar 28, 2026

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Mar 28, 2026

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Mar 27, 2026

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Mar 27, 2026

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Mar 27, 2026

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Mar 27, 2026

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Mar 27, 2026

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Mar 27, 2026

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Mar 27, 2026

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Mar 27, 2026

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Mar 27, 2026

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Mar 27, 2026

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Mar 27, 2026

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Mar 27, 2026

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Mar 27, 2026

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Mar 27, 2026

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Mar 26, 2026

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Mar 26, 2026

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Mar 26, 2026

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Mar 26, 2026

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Mar 26, 2026

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Mar 26, 2026

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Mar 26, 2026

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Mar 26, 2026

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Mar 26, 2026