Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Making waves on TikTok:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Making waves on Twitch:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Funny eating out quotes

Funny eating out quotes bring a burst of laughter to every meal 🍔😂 Whether you’re devouring a juicy burger or savoring a fancy dinner 🍣✨, these witty lines capture the joy, chaos, and delicious mess of dining away from home. Perfect for sharing with foodie friends or spicing up your social feed 🍕📸, get ready to chuckle your way through every bite!

New funny eating out quotes 👇

All funny eating out quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Discord this month:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

50 shares on Telegram this month:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Breaking via Threads:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Spotted on Reddit:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Just landed via YouTube:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Just shared via WeChat:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Going viral on Instagram:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

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