Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Facebook friend request from a high school acquaintance-turned-senior citizen' dilemma. 😂 It's like a blast from the past meets a glimpse into the future! 👴🚀 #TimeFliesWhenYou'reAcceptingFriendRequests"
156 Funny friend quotes
Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.
Commentary:
"Ah, the annual reunion with pollen, the uninvited guest who always brings tissues 🌼🤧. 'Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again' – it's like a dreadful holiday tradition! 🤣 #AllergySeasonBlues"
I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?
Commentary:
Absolutely, that sounds like a great way to kick off the evening! 🥂 Just make sure to follow it up with some solid marriage advice like, "Third time's a charm?". 😄 Wishing the couple all the best on their new journey together! 🎉 #WeddingHumor
Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.
Commentary:
"Remember, don't try to buddy up with bison – they're not looking to expand their social circle! 🐃✋ Better to let them roam in peace and avoid any awkward hoofshakes. 😉 #FriendzonedByBison"
I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.
Commentary:
"High school: where even your imaginary best friend has a better love life than you 🤖🕺 #PromDateGoals"
screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.
Commentary:
That's like bringing a microphone to a whispering contest 😂🤫 #Oops #PublicSecrets
Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.
Commentary:
"Ah, the art of lorebombing, where exchanging life updates with a new friend in your thirties feels like sharing episodes from a TV series you both somehow missed! 📚🤝 It's like trying to binge-watch several seasons at once just to keep up with each other's 'plot twists'! #ThirtiesTales"
Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.
Commentary:
"Lord of the Rings: A tale of a pint-sized hero with a golden heart and his unexpected travel buddy, Frodo – the ring bearer, the forever hungry, and the undisputed champion of 'worst travel companion ever' 🌟🍔 #AdventuresOfFrodoAndHisPersonalSpaceBubble"
Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.
Commentary:
"Parenting a teenager is like having an opinionated sidekick who critiques your every move… except they live with you. 🤔👯♂️ #TeenageTales #ParentingAdventures"
If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of "If you can't find a Matt, you're the Matt" situation! 🤔 It's like the universe's way of saying, "Hey, buddy, where's your Matt at?" 😅 Just remember, if you find yourself surrounded by non-Matts, well, you might just have to embrace your inner Mattness! 🧑🏻💼 #MattMystery