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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Just shared via Messenger:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Going viral on Telegram:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Just shared via Telegram:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Spotted on X:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Live now on WeChat:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Making waves on Pinterest:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Funny full moon quotes

Funny full moon quotes 🌕😂 are the perfect way to brighten up those mystical nights with a dash of humor! Whether you’re howling at the moon or just love lunar vibes, these witty lines will have you laughing under the stars ✨🌙. Get ready to embrace the night’s glow with a smile and a giggle—because who says the moon can’t be funny? 🌝🤣

New funny full moon quotes 👇

All funny full moon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

21 shares on Twitch this month:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

62 shares on X this month:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Spotted on X:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Trending via WeChat:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Making waves on Facebook:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Trending via Instagram:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Seen just now on Messenger:

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

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