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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Just landed via YouTube:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Making waves on WeChat:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Breaking via Threads:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Funny future husband quotes

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New funny future husband quotes 👇

All funny future husband quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

82 shares on Discord this month:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Just shared via Threads:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Spotted on Messenger:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Seen just now on YouTube:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Trending via Twitch:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Making waves on Facebook:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spotted on Instagram:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

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