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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Breaking via WhatsApp:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Just landed via WeChat:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Trending via Discord:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Trending via Messenger:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

109 Funny gift quotes

More funny gift quotes 👇

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

2 months ago

Christmas, funny gift, gift, give, holiday, humor, joke, last, lifetime, pet, tortoise, unique, unique gift
Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

2 months ago

gift, humor, i, item, love, me, oh, reaction, surprise, unwrap
Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

2 months ago

Christmas, clearance, gift, humor, i, late, present, procrastination, scraping, sorry, tag
You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, gift, gift wrapping, good, humor, presents, talent, wrapping
When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

2 months ago

Christmas, gift, holiday, humor, i, irony, myself, say, self-care, shopping, silent
‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

2 months ago

fine, fine motor skills, gift, gift wrapping, holiday, humor, motor, objects, paper, season, skills, T-Rex, wrap, wrapping
If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

2 months ago

card, cat, Christmas, Christmas card, gift, holiday, humor, independence, sarcasm
I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

2 months ago

attitude, gift, gifts, give, holidays, humor, people, personality, sarcasm, year
Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

2 months ago

1, 50, activity, after, age, age humor, calling, floor, floor activity, gift, gift wrapping, gifts, help, holiday, holiday preparation, holiday spirit, humor, preparation, spirit, stand, standing, standing up, struggle, wrapping
Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

2 months ago

every, flannel, flask, gift, gift guide, guide, hold, humor, knife, men, satire, whiskey

For even more funny gift quotes, hit next 👇

All funny gift quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

94 shares on X this month:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Live now on Threads:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Making waves on X:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Breaking via Facebook:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Just landed via Slack:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Trending via Messenger:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Just landed via Messenger:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Going viral on Messenger:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Activity Log ✨

109 Funny gift quotes

More funny gift quotes 👇

All funny gift quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨