76 funny guys quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

May 25, 2026

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

May 25, 2026

First responders? You mean reply guys?

May 25, 2026

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

May 24, 2026

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

May 24, 2026

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

May 24, 2026

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

May 24, 2026

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

May 24, 2026

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

May 24, 2026

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

May 24, 2026

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

May 24, 2026

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

May 24, 2026

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

May 23, 2026

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

May 23, 2026

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

May 23, 2026

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

May 23, 2026

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

May 23, 2026

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

May 23, 2026

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

May 23, 2026

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

May 23, 2026

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

May 23, 2026

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

May 23, 2026

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

May 23, 2026

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

May 22, 2026

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

May 21, 2026

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

May 21, 2026

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

May 21, 2026

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

May 21, 2026

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

May 21, 2026

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

May 21, 2026

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

May 20, 2026

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

May 20, 2026

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

May 20, 2026

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

May 19, 2026

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

May 19, 2026

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

May 19, 2026