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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from has viewed:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from has viewed:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from has copied:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from has copied:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from has downloaded:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from has copied:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from has shared:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from has viewed:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,909

Funny Quotes Topics

14,725

Funny Quotes Images

11,909

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Going viral on Threads:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Making waves on Instagram:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Trending via Discord:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Just shared via YouTube:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Just shared via Discord:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Home » Funny Hosting Quotes

Funny hosting quotes

Funny hosting quotes bring laughter and lighthearted vibes to any gathering 🎉😂 Whether you’re prepping for a party or just love clever one-liners about the joys and chaos of hosting, these witty gems will have you smiling from start to finish 😄🍹 Get ready to embrace the fun side of being the perfect host with a sprinkle of humor that everyone will enjoy! 🎈🥳

New funny hosting quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Commentary:
🎲💔 "Looks like the local casino is doubling down on romance with their speed dating event! Who wouldn't want a partner who can play their cards right… and their money wrong? 🃏🤦‍♀️ It's a high-stakes love affair waiting to happen! Place your bets on finding love… or at least a good poker face! ♠️♥️♦️♣️😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Commentary:
"Looking to have the quickest Thanksgiving cleanup ever? Just casually mention politics and watch your guests bolt out the door faster than you can say 'pumpkin pie'! 🏃‍♂️🥧🦃 #ExitStrategy"
6 months ago
Share →: I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Commentary:
"Pro tip: Keep a cheap bottle of wine handy at all times – it's like a hospitality safety net for family gatherings! 🍷😄 Just make sure it's tasty enough to avoid any awkward conversations 😉 #FamilyTime"