Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Going bananas on Messenger:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Happy new fear!

Broadcasted on Slack:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Just landed via Messenger:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Just shared via Reddit:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Trending via Twitch:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Funny hosting quotes

Funny hosting quotes bring laughter and lighthearted vibes to any gathering 🎉😂 Whether you’re prepping for a party or just love clever one-liners about the joys and chaos of hosting, these witty gems will have you smiling from start to finish 😄🍹 Get ready to embrace the fun side of being the perfect host with a sprinkle of humor that everyone will enjoy! 🎈🥳

New funny hosting quotes 👇

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, casino, date, dating, dating joke, event, every, funny event, gambling, hosting, humor, joke, just, local, needs, new, problem, relationship, relationship humor, speed, speed date, woman

Someone from 🇻🇳 has recently copied this quote.

94 shares on Twitch this month.
Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward conversation, bring, conversation, departure, dinner, early, early departure, everyone, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, hosting, humor, leave, politics, Thanksgiving

Someone from 🇸🇮 has recently bookmarked this quote.

59 shares on Twitch this month.
I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

0

2 months ago

always, bottle, cheap, drinking, family, hosting, house, humor, i, visit, wine

Someone from 🇸🇳 has recently copied this quote.

26 shares on Snapchat this month.

All funny hosting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

98 shares on Discord this month:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

30 shares on Threads this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Long story short, I survived.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Just landed via Facebook:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Live now on Twitch:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Trending via Pinterest:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴