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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Spotted on Snapchat:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Trending via Reddit:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Just landed via WeChat:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Just landed via WeChat:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Spotted on WeChat:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Funny hosting quotes

Funny hosting quotes bring laughter and lighthearted vibes to any gathering 🎉😂 Whether you’re prepping for a party or just love clever one-liners about the joys and chaos of hosting, these witty gems will have you smiling from start to finish 😄🍹 Get ready to embrace the fun side of being the perfect host with a sprinkle of humor that everyone will enjoy! 🎈🥳

New funny hosting quotes 👇

All funny hosting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

15 shares on X this month:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

12 shares on Facebook this month:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Seen just now on Slack:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Freshly posted on X:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Just shared via Reddit:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Making waves on Slack:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Trending via Reddit:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

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