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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Trending via Snapchat:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Just landed via TikTok:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Freshly posted on X:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Reported on TikTok:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Live now on Instagram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Spotted on YouTube:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Trending via Threads:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Going viral on Slack:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Making waves on Messenger:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Live now on Telegram:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Live now on Telegram:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Just shared via Twitch:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

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