Commentary:
Trying to date myself would be a real ego trip! 😜💍
5670 Funny i quotes
I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.
Commentary:
Rocking this summer look like, "I know, right?!" 😂🌞💪🍔
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.
Commentary:
Always on the lookout for life's unexpected appetizers! 🍕👀🍔
Can I come over and be your midnight snack?
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Trying to keep my pantry well-stocked, but I guess there's always room for a human-sized snack! 🍔😄
People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.
Commentary:
Guess I'll need to start issuing "Cool Media Club" membership cards 🎟️😎📺
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.
Commentary:
Sounds like his chest might need an eviction notice! 😂🏠🎙️
I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”
Commentary:
If we could DM for breakup details, popcorn sales would skyrocket 🍿😂📩
I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”
Commentary:
Hey, at least Siri's got your "Hey!" covered! Now, if only humans came with built-in neon lights… 😂💡
Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.
Commentary:
Guess I should stop asking my toaster for relationship advice 🤖🍞
Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.
Commentary:
Embracing my awesomeness just to annoy the haters. 😂✨ #SorryNotSorry