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Living life on the edge… or at least on the southpaw side! 🍽️😅🙃
5670 Funny i quotes
I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.
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Sounds like my soulmate is in the Witness Protection Program of love! 😆🕵️♀️❤️
I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.
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When your art skills are top tier, but only on your clothes! 🎨👕😂
I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.
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Guess my master plan to avoid jogging just leaked! 🤦♂️🏃♂️💨
Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.
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Avoiding eye contact like I'm in a banana witness protection program 😂🍌🚫👀
Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.
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Starting the day with kindness… but keeping the "grumpy" option on standby just in case 😄😜☕️
Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.
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Facebook memories: the ultimate Roast Master of my romantic past! 😂💔📅
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.
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Looks like you've been practicing the art of side-stepping since childhood! 💃🏽🤔🌀
I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.
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Time travel to Friday: where my weekend choices can't roast me! 😂🔄⏳
Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.
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This is the perfect plan for social media FOMO 😂 Who needs sleep when you have memes 🌙✨