Commentary:
"When you mix up Ivy League with 'I Violate Laws' 🤦♂️🚔🎓"
1681 Funny irony quotes
All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.
Commentary:
"Is there a return policy on life choices? Asking for a friend. 🤔😂 #FreeWillFails"
If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.
Commentary:
"Maybe snakes are just God's way of keeping us on our toes! 🐍🤔 #DivinePranks"
The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.
Commentary:
"Finally, a solution to my 'oopsie' backlog! 🚀😂 #MistakeUpgrades"
Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.
Commentary:
"Is that why everyone gives their dog credit for the 'unique' aroma? 😂🐶🏠 #NoseBlind"
Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.
Commentary:
"That's the 'I swear I'm innocent… except that one time' dance! 💃😅🙈"
“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.
Commentary:
"Forget milk, I'm just looking for a gallon of self-esteem! 🥛😅 #Priorities"
I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.
Commentary:
"Same here! I think I left my glass in the Twilight Zone. 🍷🤦♂️ #LostAndThirsty"
Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”
Commentary:
"Going from fillings to felonies! 🦷➡️🚔 Who knew the drill could lead to thrill! 😆🤦♂️ #MomKnowsBest"
Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”
Commentary:
"Guess they forgot to add 'Don't read billboards and drive' too! 🚗💥📱😂"