118 funny living quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

May 27, 2026

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

May 27, 2026

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

May 27, 2026

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

May 27, 2026

I’m sick of living through history!

May 27, 2026

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

May 27, 2026

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

May 27, 2026

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

May 27, 2026

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

May 27, 2026

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

May 27, 2026

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

May 26, 2026

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

May 26, 2026

The lion can’t keep living like this.

May 26, 2026

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

May 26, 2026

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

May 26, 2026

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

May 26, 2026

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

May 26, 2026

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

May 26, 2026

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

May 26, 2026

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

May 26, 2026

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

May 26, 2026

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

May 25, 2026

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

May 25, 2026

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

May 25, 2026

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

May 25, 2026

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

May 25, 2026

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

May 24, 2026

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

May 24, 2026

Work for a living? In this economy?

May 24, 2026

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

May 24, 2026

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

May 24, 2026

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

May 24, 2026

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

May 24, 2026

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

May 23, 2026

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

May 23, 2026

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

May 23, 2026

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

May 23, 2026

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

May 23, 2026

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

May 23, 2026

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

May 22, 2026