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6 months ago
Share →: When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Commentary:
"Looks like your wife takes 'packing light' to a whole new level! 🧳🏠 When she says 'going on a trip', she means business! 😅 #WifeGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

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You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

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90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

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Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

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My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

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Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

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I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

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I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

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I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

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Shared recently on TikTok:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Seen just now on Twitch:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Live now on Facebook:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Just shared via YouTube:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

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Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

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I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

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My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

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