Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Just landed via TikTok:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Just shared via Slack:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Broadcasted on X:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Making waves on Messenger:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Going viral on X:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Broadcasted on X:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Trending via Pinterest:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Funny nuclear quotes

Funny nuclear quotes 💥 bring a blast of humor to one of the most serious topics around! Whether you’re a science nerd 🔬 or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines spark laughter ⚛️ while keeping things light. Ready to split some sides and energize your day? Let’s dive into the atomic world with a smile 😄⚡!

New funny nuclear quotes 👇

All funny nuclear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on TikTok this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

45 shares on Slack this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

100 shares on Discord this month:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not going is the new leaving early.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Just shared via YouTube:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Shared recently on Slack:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Spotted on Messenger:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Making waves on Reddit:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Shared recently on Slack:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Trending via Pinterest:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Going viral on Reddit:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

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