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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Just landed via Reddit:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Live now on Telegram:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Trending via Telegram:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Trending via Pinterest:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

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Funny nuclear quotes

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All funny nuclear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Broadcasted on X:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Just landed via X:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Just shared via Slack:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Spotted on Discord:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Reported on YouTube:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

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