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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,954

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Live now on Pinterest:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Spotted on Instagram:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Seen just now on Slack:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Live now on X:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Making waves on YouTube:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Just landed via TikTok:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Just shared via Reddit:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

78 Funny point quotes

More funny point quotes 👇

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

0

4 months ago

again, dating, humor, i, life, low, low point, motivation, point, relationship, should, start
My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

0

4 months ago

bored, boredom, enough, entertain, entertainment, family, family life, favorite, getting, humor, kid, kid boredom, kids, life, parenting, patience, point, self, self entertainment
At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

0

4 months ago

alien, aliens, humor, point, rooting, sarcasm
Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

0

4 months ago

communication, coworker, coworkers, exclamation, exclamation point, humor, killed, know, message, messages, office, point, sarcasm, spirit, stopped, using, work, work message
Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

0

5 months ago

apple, autocorrect, communication, ever, hell, humor, i, language, point, someone, text, texting, typo
My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

0

5 months ago

disappointment, ex, humor, i, know, life, lowest, lowest point, me, point, relationship, sarcasm, spot
Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

0

5 months ago

beer, better, buzz, conversation, drinking, handsome, humor, point, starting, wear
I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

0

5 months ago

bottom, downhill, ever, humor, i, life, point, sarcasm, started, starting, starting point, struggle

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

87 shares on X this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Live now on Snapchat:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Spotted on Messenger:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Just landed via YouTube:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Just landed via Instagram:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Going viral on WeChat:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Activity Log ✨

78 Funny point quotes

More funny point quotes 👇

All funny point quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨