Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Just landed via Instagram:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Trending via Telegram:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Just shared via Facebook:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Funny prevent quotes

Funny prevent quotes are the perfect way to add a little humor while staying safe and smart 😄🛡️ Whether you’re dodging awkward moments or avoiding everyday mishaps, these witty lines will keep you laughing and thinking twice 🤔😂 Get ready to smile, because prevention never looked this fun! 🚫😎✨

New funny prevent quotes 👇

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

0

3 weeks ago

2, binge, binge-watching, day, distraction, entertainment, happening, humor, movie, prevent, procrastination, thought, watching

Someone from 🇭🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

69 shares on Threads this month.
There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, decisions, dog, dogs, funny suggestion, guide, guide dog, humor, humorous, humorous idea, idea, making, prevent, should, suggestion

Someone from 🇦🇩 has recently copied this quote.

75 shares on YouTube this month.
Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

0

2 months ago

acting, comedy, humor, job, let, motivation, never, prevent, unemployed, unemployment, work

Someone from 🇦🇩 has recently bookmarked this quote.

75 shares on Messenger this month.
My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

0

2 months ago

being, day, elected, goal, humor, irony, me, office, political, prevent, self sabotage, thing

Someone from 🇪🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

108 shares on Telegram this month.

All funny prevent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Just landed via Discord:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Spotted on Telegram:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

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