Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Just shared via Messenger:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Making waves on X:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Spotted on Slack:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Going viral on Threads:

The future is buffering.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Funny prevent quotes

Funny prevent quotes are the perfect way to add a little humor while staying safe and smart 😄🛡️ Whether you’re dodging awkward moments or avoiding everyday mishaps, these witty lines will keep you laughing and thinking twice 🤔😂 Get ready to smile, because prevention never looked this fun! 🚫😎✨

New funny prevent quotes 👇

All funny prevent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Telegram this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My recliner and I go way back.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Freshly posted on Slack:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Going viral on Slack:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Going viral on Discord:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Going viral on Messenger:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Spotted on Facebook:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Making waves on Twitch:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴