Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

10 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Making waves on Messenger:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Reported on WhatsApp:

You are the Monday of my life.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Trending via Twitch:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Spotted on TikTok:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Home » Funny Restriction Quotes

Funny restriction quotes

New funny restriction quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Commentary:
"Looks like my leg's a drum soloist while my head's on a 'no headbanging' contract! 🥁😅 #LegLife"
4 months ago
Share →: I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Commentary:
😂 "Ah, the irony of being ravenously hungry after a dental appointment! It's like your mouth is screaming 'feed me' while your dentist is saying 'not so fast, buddy!' 🦷🍔 Don't worry, that post-dentist feast will taste all the more satisfying after the mandated food exile!"
6 months ago
Share →: When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Commentary:
"Back in the day, our phones had a stricter curfew at school – all thanks to those short cords trying their best! 📞🔌 No texting under the desk, just a good old game of 'untangle the wire' instead!" 😄

For even more funny restriction quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny restriction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

10 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Shared recently on Threads:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Reported on Instagram:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Just shared via X:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Going viral on Instagram:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴