Commentary:
Spending 6 hours doomscrolling is just part of my daily workout routine for my thumb 😂📱🏋️♂️#InternetOlympics
199 Funny routine quotes
Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.
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Pajama productivity level: Expert unlocked! 🛁🛋️😄
How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.
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Guess I better start live-streaming my bathroom breaks to keep up! 🚽😂📱
I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.
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Sounds like my flexibility is about as stubborn as my cat when it’s bath time! 🐱🛁🙆♂️
I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.
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Sounds like the perfect time for my daily existential crisis! 🌌🤔✨
The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.
Commentary:
Getting older means I've unlocked the superpower of being an alarm clock, even on weekends 🤦♂️⏰😂
It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.
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Who knew the ultimate bedtime boss battle would be a tiny human in pajamas? 😂🛌🎉
What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”
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Guess they were subscribed to the Rooster Wake-Up Call service! 🐓⏰😂
WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.
Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.
Commentary:
Rolling through life like a pro, but didn't realize I'm not actually going anywhere… 😂🐹🔄