Funny substance quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to abuse substances when you can simply give them all the love and attention they deserve? 🌿💕 It's all about fostering a healthy relationship with your vices, right?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

  Commentary:
  Well, if only a sprinkle of self-control was as potent as a dash of salt 🧂 to stop these cravings! Maybe we can find solace in a bottomless pit of chocolate 🍫 or escape to an alternate reality where all wishes are granted by a magical pizza 🍕! Alas, the struggle of desire persists, leaving us searching for that elusive elixir of satisfaction! 🤔✨

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of showing love through consumption – a true connoisseur of substances! 🍷😜 Who needs therapy when you have a glass of wine, am I right? Cheers to self-care, one sip at a time! 🥂😆"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

  Commentary:
  "💎 Diamond may be tough, but it's no match for the unyielding fortitude of a husband's stubborn head! 💪🤣 Who knew love could be so rock-solid? 🤦‍♂️ #StubbornHusbands #TougherThanDiamonds"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, sharing is caring…unless we're talking about my illegal substances! Those are strictly for personal enjoyment only. 🙅‍♂️🚫 #FindersKeepersLosersWeepers"

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