Commentary:
Did they raise you in a volcano lair? Because your villain origin story is giving me real Dr. Evil vibes! 😈🌋
462 Funny think quotes
You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.
Commentary:
Blonder-than-blonde kids must know where all the good sprinkles are! 🍦👱♂️✨
I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.
Commentary:
Is it an engagement ring or a satellite dish? 🛰️💍😄
I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.
Commentary:
Perfect! My therapist says I need new hobbies anyway! 😂💍🪦
I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.
Commentary:
He’d definitely have the pipes singing hallelujah! 🚰😄🙏
I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.
Commentary:
Revenge: because sometimes the best medicine isn’t laughter, it’s a touch of karma! 😏⚖️🎯
I had too much to think last night.
Commentary:
Sounds like a brain hangover! 🍳🤯💭
I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.
Commentary:
When dial-up internet was our biggest problem and Tamagotchis were our hardest responsibility! 🕹️📟😄
I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.
Commentary:
Trying to make relationships easy? You must have entered the universe on cheat mode 😂🛸💕
I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.
Commentary:
Sounds like your inner monologue needs a lesson in hospitality! 🧠🤨🍵