Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Making waves on YouTube:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Freshly posted on X:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Making waves on Discord:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Seen just now on Threads:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

44 Funny traffic quotes

More funny traffic quotes 👇

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

3 months ago

annoyance, bad, bad weather, driving, humor, i, mind, people, road, road safety, safety, traffic, weather
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

3 months ago

anxiety, contrast, cool, cucumber, emotions, humor, inside, squirrel, surface, traffic
Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

3 months ago

car, driving, excuse, humor, i, joke, just, limit, officer, speed, speed limit, traffic, yes
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

3 months ago

admire, driver, frustration, humor, irony, patience, perspective, road, something, traffic

For even more funny traffic quotes, hit next 👇

All funny traffic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

45 shares on Discord this month:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Just landed via YouTube:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Going viral on Facebook:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Just landed via Telegram:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Live now on WeChat:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Breaking via X:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

44 Funny traffic quotes

More funny traffic quotes 👇

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

All funny traffic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨