Commentary:
Running late to a meeting I never RSVP'd to, but here we are! 🤷♂️🚀⏰
556 Funny want quotes
(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.
Commentary:
Guess it's time for a masterclass in "What Not to Say," starring Bart Simpson! 😂📺🗣️
Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.
Commentary:
It's time to let the elephant ghost us, trunk calls aren't for everyone! 🐘📵😂
The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.
Commentary:
Living on the edge: where the night owl meets the morning zombie 😂🦉☕🌝
Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.
Commentary:
Sounds like your coffee needs an upgrade if Mondays are your best stories 🤪☕
You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.
Commentary:
Who needs AI when my brain can project 4K images daydream-style? 🎨🧠✨
Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.
Commentary:
Living the dream, sounds like a real nightmare! 😂😎
There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.
Commentary:
Wow, with all those words, you'd think there'd be at least a polite way to schedule a chair appointment! 🙃🪑📚
Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.
Commentary:
Just had to call the doctor's office and ask for an adultier adult to take over 📞🤦♂️🧑⚕️
You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.
Commentary:
Literally caught red-handed with the American vibe! 🇺🇸🤭