84 funny wealth quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

May 18, 2026

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Apr 1, 2026

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Apr 1, 2026

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Apr 1, 2026

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Apr 1, 2026

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Apr 1, 2026

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Apr 1, 2026

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Apr 1, 2026

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Mar 31, 2026

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Mar 31, 2026

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Mar 31, 2026

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Mar 31, 2026

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Mar 31, 2026

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Mar 31, 2026

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Mar 30, 2026

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Mar 30, 2026

Can we skip to the rich part?

Mar 30, 2026

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Mar 30, 2026

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Mar 30, 2026

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Mar 30, 2026

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Mar 30, 2026

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Mar 30, 2026

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Mar 29, 2026

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Mar 29, 2026

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Mar 29, 2026

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Mar 29, 2026

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Mar 29, 2026

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Mar 29, 2026

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Mar 29, 2026

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Mar 29, 2026

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Mar 29, 2026

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Mar 28, 2026

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Mar 28, 2026

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Mar 28, 2026

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Mar 28, 2026

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Mar 28, 2026

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Mar 28, 2026

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Mar 28, 2026

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Mar 28, 2026