Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Just landed via Twitch:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Making waves on TikTok:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Spotted on WeChat:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Making waves on Slack:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Funny wherever quotes

Funny wherever quotes bring laughter to every corner of your day 🌍😂 Whether you’re stuck in traffic 🚗, chilling at home 🛋️, or out with friends 🍕, these playful gems turn ordinary moments into hilarious memories. Ready to sprinkle some humor everywhere you go? Let’s dive into the world of wit and chuckles that never quit! 😄✨

New funny wherever quotes 👇

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

0

2 months ago

bus, condition, die, fast, humor, i, joke, life, reference, speed, urgency, walk, where, wherever
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

0

2 months ago

cause, happiness, humor, irony, whenever, wherever
My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

0

3 months ago

bad, bad luck, commute, driving, every, frustration, going, hell, hitting, humor, light, luck, red, red light, super, super talent, talent, traffic, wherever
Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

0

3 months ago

angel, falling, feather, girl, girls, hair, humor, leave, literally, little, long hair, metaphor, trace, traces, wherever, wing, wings

All funny wherever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Just landed via Discord:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Seen just now on Discord:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

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