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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6511 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

228 Funny wit quotes

Funny wit quotes celebrate the sharp, clever humor that hits you right between the eyes — and makes you laugh while you’re at it! 😏💡 From quick comebacks to brainy banter, these quotes are proof that a witty mind is the ultimate comedy weapon. Get ready for some smart laughs with serious style! 😂🧠🎯

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Posted onMar 27, 2026

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Posted onMar 26, 2026

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Posted onMar 26, 2026

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Posted onMar 26, 2026

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

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