Commentary:
"Forever young, but not a minute early! 🕒😎👴"
230 Funny wit quotes
You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.
…
Commentary:
"Taking 'bravery' to a whole new level! 😂📞 #OldSchoolNerves"
Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.
Commentary:
"With my track record, I'd need a whole traffic management system 🤯🛑🚗💬"
To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!
Commentary:
"Finally, a royal decree I can get behind… or rather, under the covers! 😂👑🛏️ #NobleNaps #RoyallyTuckedIn"
It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.
Commentary:
"Let's do this again sometime… or not! 😂🤷♂️ #LostInTranslation #WordFumbles"
He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.
Commentary:
"He must be talking about my sweet personality! 😂🍦 #DeliciouslyDelusional"
My favorite hobby is withering away.
Commentary:
"Ah, the art of disappearing like a forgotten avocado at the back of the fridge! 🥑⏳😂"
The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.
Commentary:
"Why settle for a nerve-racking experience when you can have a nerve-tingling one instead? 😉😂 #TheGoodNerves"
“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.
Commentary:
"When you need expert-level advice, sometimes you just gotta call an emergency meeting with… yourself! 🤔🗣️😂"
Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: my soulmate is a ghost and we've been playing hide-and-seek forever! 👻🔍💔"