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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Shared recently on Slack:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Going viral on Reddit:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Just shared via Discord:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Trending via YouTube:

I love it when God gives me money.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Just shared via Threads:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like a great alarm clock with built-in chewing function! 🐶⏰😂"

animal, animal antics, antics, behavior, best, best friend, bite, companionship, early, early morning, excitement, friend, humor, market, morning, pet, pet behavior, puppy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

0

3 days ago

bible, Bible quote, bio, contradiction, dating, DM, humor, match, media, message, profile, social, social media
Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

0

2 months ago

anti-stress, balls, breast, breasts, device, female, humor, irony, nature, stress
There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

0

2 months ago

boat, camouflage, duck, duck hunter, humor, hunter, hunting, i, money, outsmart, respect, spent
My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

0

4 months ago

anxiety, family, health, house, houses, humor, inheritance, mental, mental health, money, mood, mood swing, swing, swings
I love my bed so much, what a place.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, much, place, relaxation
Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

0

2 months ago

being, connectivity, dropped, every, frustration, humor, internet, meeting, overpriced, price, put, service, sure, technology, Zoom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

40 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

20 shares on X this month:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Just shared via Facebook:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Trending via Facebook:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Going viral on Reddit:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨