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Promising I wonโ€™t tell anyone your secret doesnโ€™t include my husband. Heโ€™s basically my diary.

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No plans and no pants kind of day.

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Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone thatโ€™s in a bad mood.

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Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

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Iโ€™m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

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There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

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I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

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Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Commentary:
So true! It's like jars have ninja defense systems but couches? They're just doing cardio! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿ›‹๏ธ



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