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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Seen just now on Discord:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Just shared via Slack:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Freshly posted on X:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Shared recently on Discord:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Seen just now on Slack:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Spotted on Discord:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Venturing beyond the first page of Google is like entering the Bermuda Triangle of the internet 😂🔍🌐

consider, dark, dark web, engine, Google, Google result, humor, i, internet, internet humor, joke, online, online joke, page, result, results, search, search engine, second, web, web page

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

15 shares on Discord this month:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

50 shares on X this month:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

24 shares on X this month:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

86 shares on X this month:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Just landed via Instagram:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Going viral on Threads:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Trending via Instagram:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Spotted on Threads:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Keep the laugh going 😂

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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