Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, if you can't even keep up with your own life on Earth, trying to manage one on another planet sounds like a mission impossible! 🌎👽 #StrugglesOfEarthlings"

care, even, existence, humor, i, irony, life, perspective, planet, planets, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you tried complaining about it?

0

2 months ago

advice, complaining, complaint, humor, sarcasm, suggestion, tried
Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

0

2 months ago

community, diagnose, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, patients, psychiatric, psychiatric ward, social, social media, Twitter, ward, where
Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

0

2 months ago

animal, back, career, career change, change, education, fit, good, human, humor, me, octopu, opportunity, preference, school, thank
Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, after, bit, die, expectations, humor, life, over, procrastination, routine, saying, slow, slow down, stress, things, week
I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

0

2 months ago

activity, boyfriend, entertainment, fun, fun activity, good, movie, recommendation, relationship
You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

0

2 months ago

cooking, creativity, food, humor, kitchen, lettuce, rule-breaking, rules, salad, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Reddit this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

35 shares on Discord this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Live now on Messenger:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Freshly posted on X:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Just landed via Reddit:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Just shared via Twitch:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Making waves on Messenger:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Have you tried complaining about it?

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨