Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, if you can't even keep up with your own life on Earth, trying to manage one on another planet sounds like a mission impossible! 🌎👽 #StrugglesOfEarthlings"

care, even, existence, humor, i, irony, life, perspective, planet, planets, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

0

2 months ago

activity, counter, fitness, fridge, humor, judge, just, step, step counter, steps, value, walk
My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

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2 months ago

calm, conversation, humor, idiots, patience, staying, superpower, talking, wit
Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

0

2 months ago

advice, baseball, baseball cap, beauty, beauty product, cap, fashion, fashion statement, funny advice, humor, looking, looking young, money, money-saving, product, products, propeller, saving, secret, statement, stop, wasting, wear, young
Wake me up when I’m rich!

0

2 months ago

ambition, dream, humor, me, money, rich, sleep, wake
Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

0

2 months ago

conversation, human, humor, identity, irony, okay, proof, prove, robot, technology
I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

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5 months ago

advice, directions, give, humor, i, navigation, people, sarcasm, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

79 shares on X this month:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

78 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Making waves on Instagram:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Live now on WeChat:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Going viral on Discord:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Just landed via Twitch:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Trending via TikTok:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨