Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Spotted on YouTube:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Spotted on Twitch:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Going viral on Facebook:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Just landed via X:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

I had too much to think last night.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a brain hangover! 🍳🤯💭

humor, i, last, much, night, overthinking, think, thinking, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

0

3 days ago

20s, advice, humor, important, jump, man, meet, over, short, short man
Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

0

2 months ago

hit, humor, joke, modern, modern humor, tech, tech joke, technology, vape, vaping
You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

0

2 months ago

appearance, comment, costume, funny comment, Halloween, humor, joke, self, yourself
In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

0

2 months ago

debate, effort, humor, internet, pointlessness, proof, real, reality, snow
I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

0

2 months ago

context, expression, feel, humor, i, imitation, just, know, mean, mimic, sound, voice
It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, interaction, irony, miscommunication, pleasure, sarcasm, social, social interaction, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WeChat this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

81 shares on X this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

84 shares on Instagram this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Going viral on Threads:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Shared recently on Discord:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Shared recently on Twitch:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Going viral on Threads:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Spotted on WeChat:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Going viral on X:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Just shared via Facebook:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Making waves on WeChat:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I had too much to think last night.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨